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Optimizer

This is Optimizer, a weekly newsletter sent every Friday from Verge senior reviewer Victoria Song that dissects and discusses the latest gizmos and potions that swear they’re going to change your life.

Trump’s surgeon general nominee is running the wellness grifter playbook perfectly

Casey Means says her “Good Energy habits” can prevent cancer.

Victoria Song
Huel tries to solve the ‘burden’ of eating

Technically, it’s food. (It doesn’t taste like it.)

Victoria Song
The latest skincare fad is rubbing salmon sperm on your face

Skinfluencers swear topical salmon-sperm serums will make your skin glow. The reality is a bit less impressive.

Victoria Song
‘Wellness’ feels like it’s losing all meaning in health tech

Oura is lobbying for relaxed wearables regulation. It has a point, but is regulation even the problem here?

Victoria Song
AG1 is a lot less science-y than it sounds

Athletic Greens is ‘clinically backed.’ What does that even mean?

Victoria Song
The lonely promise of cute robots

Mirumi is adorable. But living with it reminded me of the limits to the companionship a social robot can provide.

Victoria Song
Influencers are pushing suspicious peptides. How much are you willing to risk?

The search for the contents of my mystery “GLP-3” vial leads further into the wellness wild west.

Victoria Song
This 3D-scanned insole is another example of placebo tech

The wellness wild west strikes again. This time, it’s a direct attack on my shoes and feet.

Victoria Song
CES 2026 was awash in bodily fluids

It all boils down to metabolism and longevity.

Victoria Song
The wellness wild west is back on its bullshit with unapproved weight loss drugs

It’s far too easy to buy so-called GLP-3s through gray-market websites.

Victoria Song
I quit all my AI fitness plans, and I feel free

An AI coach is a terrible accountability buddy. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to ignore everything it says.

Victoria Song
Welcome to the wellness surveillance state

We’ll take your blood and urine, please.

Victoria Song
The dark side of optimizing your metabolism

There are known benefits to tracking your glucose levels, but it can also be a slippery slope into disordered eating.

Victoria Song
AI has no idea what I’m eating

Food logging is tedious enough without AI making stuff up.

Victoria Song
Counting Renaissance butts in Rome with the Meta Ray-Ban Display

Traveling with the Meta Ray-Ban Display was a better experience than using it in my day-to-day life.

Victoria Song
Lost in AI translation

When traveling, AI translators are still more cumbersome than the universal language of pointing fingers and Googling.

Victoria Song
These AI glasses promised to make me smarter, and all I got was Clippy for my face

Plus a sore neck, a peeved spouse, and ethical quandaries.

Victoria Song
We’re all about to be in wearable hell

I signed up for wearable maximalism, but with each passing day, I feel more cyborg than human.

Victoria Song
With a Friend like this, who needs enemies?

AI companionship has its supporters, but getting negged by a glowing AirTag on a shoestring isn’t friendship.

Victoria Song
I’ve got a bone to pick with ‘getting credit’ from your fitness tracker

It’s a very thin line between helpful monitoring and health paranoia.

Victoria Song
The strongest argument for smart glasses is accessibility

It’s reasonable to feel wary about this tech, but we can’t ignore how it can be a game-changer for disabled communities

Victoria Song
It’s time for Meta to add a display to its smart glasses

The company’s success in the space hinges on whether it can continue to push the category forward.

Victoria Song
What would actually make the Apple Watch better?

Satellite SOS would be fine, but maybe it’s time for a new wearable thesis rooted in what people really want.

Victoria Song